The other day at work, a little girl died. She was three years old. I didn't work with her family, although they had been around for almost a month. When something like this happens, it brings us all down. One of the terrible hazards of my job. Unfortunately, these things do happen. It brought a lot of feelings back for me. The last time there was a "code" (code blue - cardiac/respiratory arrest) on the floor, I responded and was a communicator to the family. Basically, I would go into the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit and return to the family with any information passed on by the nurses and doctors working on their child. That night I spoke to my dad about the incident. He was always a great person to talk to about that kind of thing. I think we had that in common - we both worked in professions where there was often a great deal of sadness encountered. Anyway, we had a good talk about what I had experienced and how I felt. That night was the last night I would speak to my father. It was the evening of August 17th. He died early the next morning. All of those emotions, those terrible feelings and the intense pain I felt the day he died ... all of that came rushing back to me. It's taken me a few days to get back on track, but I think I'm on the mend - as much as I can be. So how did I do it? How is it that I'm feeling better? Allow me to share a few stories of my last couple of weeks.
On November 8, my father would have been 59 years old. It was a Sunday. That weekend I had been up in Nanaimo for a course. The other nurse I was with, Danielle, was so great to me! I had told her it was my dad's birthday and she listened as I went on and on telling stories all the way home from Nanaimo on Sunday. Two hours of chatter. Such a kind person. Thanks Danielle!
That night, myself and several of my dear friends went to an Irish Pub here in Victoria for "Irish Night" so we could toast my dad on his birthday. Only appropriate! He would have appreciated it I think. Not only did my friend come along ... so did Bobble-Head Jesus. What is a Bobble-Head Jesus you ask ... well it's just that. A plastic toy (?) that looks like Jesus and has a bobble-head. I had bought it for dad in the summer but didn't get a chance to give it to him. So I brought him along. Quite humorous. My very good friends, Krista, Krista-Lea, Nicole, Louise, Brenda, Bonnie, and Caroline, joined me in a toast (or ten) for my dad. Amazing. I'm so grateful to have such incredible friends. Thank you girls. I do love you.
Life is precious. It can be taken from you in an instant. No explanation. No understanding. Just ... gone. I'm working hard every day to appreciate what I have, to be grateful for the life that I live.
Life is precious.
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