Today I was at work. On my coffee break I did what most nurses do: got coffee. There's a Tim Horton's on the main floor of the hospital. As I was making my way down the hallway, large black coffee in hand, towards the elevators that would take me to the fourth floor (I really should start taking the stairs), I passed the gift shop. And there was this decorative ornament, nothing really notable about it. But there was a saying on it. "Leave room in your heart for angels to dance". In a matter of steps, as I registered this ornament, my heart began to ache. It made me think of my dad ... my angel. It made me think of that morning all over again - the morning he died. I had to catch my breath. My heart ached ...
The holidays were tough. This would be a holiday of many firsts for many of my family members. My mum, brother and I were without my dad. His sisters without their brother. But also without their two sisters who we also lost in 2009. Those sisters left children behind to mourn them, to struggle through the holidays, to be left thinking and hoping that 2010 would be a better year, a year of hope, of happiness. I miss him ...
The holidays also marked a very important and devastating anniversary. On December 27, 2007, my dear, dear friends, Angela and Grant, lost their daughter very suddenly. Reece. She was 20 months old. The holidays are a time that should be marked with cheer and family and celebration. For Ange and Grant (and for all of us who knew and love Reece), the holidays bring anguish, pain, heartache. I miss her ...
I was reading a book over the holidays. "Salem Falls" by Jodi Picoult. There was a quote in the book that really resonated with me:
"... after a certain point, a heart with so many stress fractures would never be anything but broken."
